Tex-Mex Veggie Burgers aka Things Fall Apart

       I forgot the reason I don't make veggie burgers. It's an exercise in futility! Jk these weren't that bad. They were quite good, not amazing but definitely hearty, spicy and had solid flavor. Although, I know they were supposed to be spicy, but I halved the allotted amount of dried chili flakes and my mouth was almost on fire. I must admit though I'm a total wuss when it comes to spiciness. 

       These were also incredibly filling. When I make portobello burgers I always eat two, but not with these fatties. And like I said, the flavor was good, but I just couldn't keep these damn things together! However, props to Vegan Sandra for using the whole cans of beans and package of hamburger buns. Who doesn't get annoyed when you end up with half a can of anything and two buns - personally I hate food waste, thanks John Oliver.

       This recipe also made a lot. And I almost think if I could have made more, thinner patties, they would have been able to hold together better. Although on the other hand, this recipe made enough sunflower sauce for 20 burgers, feel free to halve the ingredients for it if you decide to go for it.

       Ultimately, this recipe was tasty but not overly memorable. It made a good sandwich but despite the recipe's original calculation of it only taking 25 - 35 min I ended up spending 1 hr 15 on it. Plus another twenty minutes or so on dishes. Have I mentioned I don't have a dishwasher? Plus I feel like the flavor really dissipated after the first meal I had of them, the leftovers just weren't as good. The only way I can see making this again is if I need to feed eight people at once.

---- Credit for this recipe goes to Vegan Sandra, find the original here----

Lazy Factor:       

Cost:            

Deliciousness:

(Avocado meter is out of five; the more avocados per lazy factor = the more time consuming or difficult the recipe )

Ingredients
     Patties:
        14 oz can of kidney beans
        14 oz can of chickpeas
        1 large red onion, diced very fine

Patty or splatty?

        Half can/ 5 large Tbsp. of canned corn, drained
        5 heaping Tbsp. chopped pickled jalapeno
        4 heaping Tsp. paprika
        1/2 cup whole-wheat flour
        1 1/2 tsp salt
        4 tsp dried chili flakes (I used only 2 tsp)
        4-5 tbsp olive oil
     Sauce (half of this would still be plenty):
        1 cup sunflower seeds
        2 heaping tsp paprika
        4 tbsp pickled jalapeno juice
        2 tbsp soy sauce
        1/2 tsp salt
        1 cup cold water
     For Serving:
        8 whole wheat buns
        2-3 ripe avocados
        Tomato slices (optional)
        Fresh romaine or spinach leaves (optional)
   
Servings: 8
Time: 1 hour

Directions
       In a large bowl, dump chickpeas and beans, rinse and drain fully. Mash with your hands till you get a good mashed potato like consistency, leaving some chickpeas whole if desired. Add onions, corn and jalapenos, paprika, flour, salt and chili flakes and mix together with your hands. I know it's messy, I'm sorry too.
       In a large skillet, pour a few tbsp of olive oil and set to medium. Using your hands, divide and form 8 patties. Cook until crispy and browned on both sides.
       While they're cooking, boil sunflower seeds in water for 15 minutes. Drain and rinse carefully to cool, then puree with the rest of the sauce ingredients. It may start out watery, but keep the blender rolling and it will develop a nice consistency.
        Assemble burgers with your desired toppings, have napkins ready for sauce splooge.

Notes: This recipe was a lot for one person to make her way through, but once I made them they were very quick to assemble, so no qualms there. For example, as a drunk midnight snack in bed:

Asian Salad with Spicy Mango Dressing

     Let's be real y'all, it doesn't take a genius to make a good salad. Pick a vague theme, chop some stuff, put it in a bowl. Ta-da. It does however take a little finesse to make the right salad dressing. So whenever I find a new salad recipe I don't hesitate to change out ingredients willy-nilly. For example this recipe called for cabbage. I don't like raw cabbage. Have you ever eaten plain raw cabbage? No bueno. And you know, I didn't have pink salt, or black sesame seeds so I sub'd in the type I did have. And I traded in peanuts instead of almonds because slivered almonds are rich people food. But the point is that ultimately it doesn't really matter because the true hero of this recipe is in the dressing.

       Not going to lie to you, I had to google how to buy a mango (similar rule of thumb to an avocado). And yes maybe I also had to google how to peel it (NOT like an avocado). Lil sloppy. But amateur hour aside the end result of this recipe was a tasty dish. The mango dressing had the perfect kick, it brightens up the whole dish and is 100% guilt free. So slather it on my people (not going to lie, I'm usually one of those 2 to 1 dressing to lettuce ratio gals).

       Okay down to the brass tacks. Would I make this recipe again? Absolutely. It was cheap, filling, and super quick. Rubs me nice in all the right places. And with the addition of the peanuts it was quite filling as well. And that dressing, ooo baby.

----- Credit for original recipe goes to the Simple Veganista, find the original here -----

Lazy Factor:  
Cost:                
Deliciousness:
                                                                      
(Avocado meter is out of five; the more avocados per lazy factor = the more time consuming or difficult the recipe )

Ingredients
    Salad:                                                                           Dressing: 
        1 head romaine, torn to bite sized pieces      1 ripe mango, peeled and seed removed
        1 red bell pepper, sliced                                      4 1/2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
        1 yellow bell pepper, sliced                                 1 1/2 tablespoons water
        2 scallions, sliced                                                  1 clove garlic
        1/2 cup cilantro, roughly chopped                  1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
        1 avocado, sliced, to serve                                  pinch of salt
        sesame seeds (garnish)
        peanuts, chopped (garnish)
     
Servings: 4
Time: A half hour. The dressing didn't even take that long.

Directions
     Puree the dressing in your food processor (or magic bullet for me) adding extra water a few tbsp at a time to get your desired consistency. assemble romaine, peppers, scallions and cilantro in a large separate bowl, toss to combine. Portion out your serving, sprinkle some sesame seeds and peanuts, slice some avocado and pour desired amount of dressing.

Notes:
     This one isn't that complicated. The only thing I really learned is that mangoes are sloppy, and try not to forget the avocado the first go around like I did.

Welcome to The Lazy Avocado

For a long time I have felt there was a resource missing on the internet. On the one hand I love websites like allrecipes.com, where everything is heavily rated so I can count on a good outcome every time. But a site like that lacks vegan and whole food recipes. And on the other hand you have beautiful food blogs, which have the prettiest pictures but who's only feedback comes in the form of "That looks so delicious Kathy, I'll be sure to make it for my next potluck!!!"

So then where do I fall? Here I've decided to make a site dedicated to reviewing recipes, sifting through all the, "I made this for little Craig's birthday," and the "As you all know this week Tim and I made our first trip to the famer's market..." Because personally, I'm the type to scroll through the paragraphs of introduction that have nothing to do with food, and the countless pictures that merely serve to highlight the blogger's inner photographer. 

Ultimately I want a site that is practical, minimalist but with an emphasis on what I think matters in recipes: laziness, accessibility, affordability, variety and deliciousness. Because that's who I am as a cook. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years so I know what tastes good but I also don't believe in the bullshit of "food porn." I'm not going to spend three hours on a recipe just so the final pictures I take of it are beautiful. Because I'm lazy. I don't make day-ahead recipes because that means I have to wait a day to eat them. And I'm also a bit of a DGAF'er. 

So what do I mean by accessibility? Girl, I am not that high tech. I do not own a microplane and I'm definitely not trendy enough to own a spiralizer. And above all I am frugal and practical. I'm not going to buy pink salt, hemp oil or coconut sugar to make just one recipe. And let's be real, the day I find tempeh in my Louisiana Winn-Dixie is the day I sing Dixie in a banana suit for the glory of all vegans everywhere. 

Affordability speaks for itself - doctored ramen is my rotating budget saver and I'm a big fan of bloggers Poor Girl Eats Well and BudgetBytes. As for variety - no one wants one more veggie burger recipe. And as vegans we don't have to masquerade as meat eaters, I believe vegetables can be their own star, so you won't see many posts with tofu chk'n nuggets or TVP granules made into the soylent green of fake meat products. And I believe there are so many types of cuisines to explore, I don't need one more comfort food blog where we make mac and cheese, give me Vietnamese, Thai, Greek, Ethiopian, I'll try it all.

As for deliciousness; why should you trust me? Well because as I said I work in the restaurant industry. I've worked in easily some of the best restaurants in D.C. and New Orleans, one of our nation's food capitals. And also because so help me eating is my favorite part of the day. I make on average five new recipes a week - and I'm cooking for one. 

So what kind of recipes can you look forward to seeing? Bright fresh ingredients, complex flavors combined into simple recipes. I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of stewed ingredients so you won't see a lot of slow cooker or soup recipes where the flavors all meld together. Give me a taco overflowing with fresh ingredients over a bowl of gumbo any day. But above all, let's be lazy! Because I don't know about you, but I'd rather make a twenty minute meal and get back to my TV binging than spend more time then I need to making a bloody sandwich.